JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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