Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
