we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
