Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
