After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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