I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
