I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
