A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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