Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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