Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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