I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
