? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
