she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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