why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
