If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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