if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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