I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
