dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
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dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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