people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
