i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
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at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Come on in and take your pants off
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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