he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
