Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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