hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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