wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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