my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The air was thick with penises
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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