Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
