The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
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all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
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you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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