I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
