I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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