Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
