**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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