3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
