i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
