She announced her abortion via fbk
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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