So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
