Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
