their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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