The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
