where does the pee come out of this thing
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
