Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
