Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think I just shit out all my problems.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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