your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
