so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
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The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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