we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
