So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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