it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
