how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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