even my farts smell like vagina
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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