He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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