I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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