Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
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my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
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Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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