So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize