Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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